Would you buy software from this guy?

August 13th, 2007

You should really be careful when you’re using anonymous stock models to promote your product. Take, for example, Sun Java Composite Application Platform Suite (don’t even get me started on the name that says absolutely nothing). Here is the banner that greets potential customers:

JCAPS Nipple shot

I don’t know about you, but instead of thinking about that miniature tree growing in what looks like a soup bowl, all i can think of is the following dialog from Seinfeld:

Jerry: Oh, volunteer work!. See that’s what I like about the holiday season. That’s the true spirit of Christmas. People being helped by people other than me. That makes me feel good inside. Look at what we have here. A Christmas card from Laine. You didn’t have to go to all that trouble.
Elaine: It was no trouble. My assistant did the whole thing.
Jerry: I didn’t even see the picture. How did it come out?
Elaine: Well, you know. It’s a picture?
Jerry: Oh yeah. Look at that. Looks good. Kramer did a good job.
Elaine: Yeah, well. How hard is it to take a picture?
Jerry: … um …
Elaine: What?
Jerry: Did you look at look at this picture carefully?
Elaine: Carefully?
Jerry: Because I’m not sure and and and correct me if I’m wrong but I think I see … a nipple.
Elaine: What?
Jerry: Here. Take a look. What, what is that?
Elaine: Oh my God! That’s my nipple.
Jerry: That’s what I thought.
Elaine: That’s my nipple. My nipple’s exposed. I sent this card to hundreds of people! My parents. My boss. Uh, Nana and Papa.
Elaine: Oh God I didn’t notice. Oh, what am I going to do? You know your whole life you go through painstaking efforts to hide your nipple and then BOOM, suddenly hundreds of people get their own personal shot of it.

Really, a headless torso with a couple of fake tattoos and a hairy nipple? For more examples of stock model goodness click this link (warning, it’s rude and hilarious).